Cheboksary

The Volga River

Cheboksary's primary asset is the Volga. Not only is the city's historic district directly adjacent, but the shoreline juts out creating a subtle penninsula, with many spectacular viewpoints.

Floating 'drink bars' line up along the rivers edge, serving local delicasies of dried fish and fermented horse milk. A concrete walkway spans several hundred feet of shoreline, lined with shops, monuments, and kiosks. To the West rise rolling hills, on top of which are the Governer's mansion and several monasteries. On both ends of the main drag are river boats which take passengers on both local romantic cruises and nearby cities. The Monday 2 o'clock line takes girls directly to Turkey.

Vikings in Russia?

While Russians and various Finno-ugric tribes were still running around in the forest clubbing each other, Vikings sailed up the Volga river to Cheboksary's first settlement, a 500 person fishing village. Few had ever seen a boat with sails, and promptly dropped to their knees and began worshipping the Scandinavian brutes as gods. As in the Kieven Rus', natives quickly adapted the more advanced customs and technology of their blonde overlords, while at the same time assimilating the conquerers into their own culture. Norse language never took hold but enough fundamental wisdom remained so the once forest dwelling savages could now organize and overtake their neighbors.

Western history books do not mention such deep incursions by the Vikings. The truth lays in numerous doctoral thesi that sit atop dusty bookshelves in obscure provincial Russian universities. Boxes containing viking ship fragments and pagan runes grow mold in basement cubbies, ignored and forgotton, save by a few renagde historians. Both archiological and textual references document the exploits of Northmen as far inland as Yoshkar-Ola.

That said the so called Viking exploits in foreign lands are becoming more numerous and ridiculous than UFO sightings. Whats next, Thailand? Laos? Burundi? A blue eyed tribe of pigmies in Congo? Yoshkar-Ola is exotic enough, lets put the border there and call it a day.